One of the things that made me hesitate to identify as asexual was that I’ve always been open to explore sex with girls, so I thought I would be heterosexual, or straight hyposexual, but not asexual. All because of the vague definition of sexual attraction, since it’s difficult to describe and to recognize something you don’t experience. As I dislike surprises and like to plan, I’ve become very informed about sex, but only theoretically. Something I like to learn about is variations from sexual norm. For instance, I loved when I learned about thigh fucking in Ancient Greece, and I like to learn about minorities of sexual orientation or identity. Precisely because of this I found about asexuality and I finally identified as asexual.
Despite all I’ve learnt these years, there are things I still need to learn. For instance, recently in Tumblr (yes, I have a tumblelog) I learnt about lubrication inside the condom. I thought lubrication was only for outside. If you add, as they recommended, some lubricant about the glans, then it may move and rub against the condom. This reminds me a joke against safe sex «don’t fuck with condom, for you fuck the condom and it fucks her.»
In the suitable (I mean, if other would make sexual jokes) I make sexual jokes, especially about the dirty parts of sex and assuming everybody bisexual. This happens regardless of my being out with the people, since they knew this part of me before I even learnt about asexuality. As they also know my anti-romanticism and lack of girlfriends, they may assume I have only, excluding masturbation, casual sex or maybe go whoring. They was wrong because I’m completely celibate, but there is a grain of truth because I would prefer casual sex. I have never actively tried to hook up, and I have lost some chances because of me being clueless. This is all my sexual explorations.